Writers note: Read till the end to understand the context
Isn’t it funny how everyone is going through something nowadays?
It’s like we are seeking problems and magnifying the tiniest of discomforts. I mean, we literally have everything we need; a roof over our head (for most of us), good food, family (whatever that means for you) and a couple of good friends. Even our jobs and the flexibility in life has made it possible for so many of us to switch careers and pursue our passions, yet we just can’t seem to stop complaining about our problems and “feelings”. Don’t get me wrong, I am not the insensitive type, like I do care about your feelings but like, get a grip sometimes. You can’t literally make everything about your struggles; literally everyone has something to crib about if they look for it. I’ve come to the realization that we actually could be a lot happier if we nailed these 3 things:
Don’t Talk
So a couple months ago, I was walking down the street, just waiting to catch my bus to work and I happened to drop my wallet. Now obviously, a wallet means a lot more than just the cash in it, all my cards had to be replaced and blocked and the whole deal. It was pretty frustrating once I accepted I had lost it and that there was no going back. I felt angry at the mistake I had made. I eventually got my new cards and things after about a week and life went back to being pretty normal again, it felt like nothing had really happened. And that's when it struck me; just because something unexpected happens, you don’t really need to go about talking about it and ruining other peoples day. You’re obviously going to sort it out eventually so why waste all that emotional energy and time? You don't have to share every little inconvenience with others.
Don’t Trust
The single most effective way of not getting hurt is not trusting people blindly. We tend to trust people quite easily and more often than not we end up getting back stabbed. Trusting is giving a part of your hard earned belief in humanity a shot and risking it, knowing the naturally selfish human nature we all have. And once that trust is lost, it's a task to believe in any person after that. Even your own instincts which is what sucks the most. Survival of the fittest is literally a reminder that people are going to crush you if need be for their own survival and gain. Putting your trust in another being for love, loyalty, compassion and worst of all, money. I think I’ll pass.
Don't Feel
I know what you’re thinking, how can you ‘not feel’? Well truth be told, it's not that you have to avoid feeling, it's the amount of importance you give to it. As children, big emotions feel so heavy which makes us nag and cry more often. But as you grow up, you certainly realize that no feeling is final and dwelling in them is the remedy for melancholic sadness. And when we feel for others, we tend to take on emotions that are not ours in the first place. So why would you willingly make yourself unhappy by listening to someone's pain? It just seems like we are in dire need of attention and looking for distractions from our own problems.
If you’ve managed to read up till here, thank you, I know it wasn’t easy and would be triggering to many of us. Everything you have read in this article is from the mind of someone who lives and breathes toxic masculinity. This article was inspired by the various kinds of toxic people who have said the above statements in one way or another and continue to make young people believe that firstly, the state of happiness is attainable and secondly, it is even more achievable if we don’t dwell on our feelings or desires. My message with this article is, if you don’t know how to communicate with compassion in your heart, at least don’t go around telling people that no one does. If someone makes you lose faith in humanity and generalizes human nature so easily, consider what has led this person to believe this way and you’ll recognize a bias being factualized here. Your voice is meant to be heard, your heart is meant to open and your feelings are meant to be felt.
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